Gary Drivon

Gary arrived at the restaurant early Tuesday morning. Just a few souls in sight, along with the boss’s car. He got out of his car and locked it electronically.

“So long, Jo Anne,” he mumbled to his sedan, “be back soon.”

The car stood there motionless. Gary walked toward the back door of the burger joint but couldn’t help glancing back at the unwashed, but still shiny vehicle.

It was a typical day in the fast casual business. Prep the vegetables, grill the onions, and get the place ready for the lunch rush all while pretending to like your job. Gary tried to hide a sigh or two. If only someone had brought donuts.

“You’ll be working the drive-thru today,” said the boss.

“Sure, no problem,” replied Gary. Gary hated the drive-thru as people were more hostile there, but he wasn’t going to tell that to his boss. He clicked on the electric headset and since he had finished his food prep work, got started on sweeping the floor.

The floor didn’t really need to be swept but Gary wasn’t going to tell that to his boss.

The customers began to arrive but like any other Tuesday during the daytime, there were only a few of them. Tuesdays would never be an exciting, fast-paced day, even during the “rush.”

Cars pulled up to the drive-thru, but their orders were routine. One combo meal, two combo meals and a sundae, nothing interesting. What Gary was really surprised with however, was the third car.

Beep, beep!

The headset indicated that a car was ready to order.

“Hi, how we can we help you?” asked Gary, through the intercom.

No words were spoken. Gary repeated the line as sincerely as he could fake it. Silence was given in response. Gary checked the camera to get a look at the driver and car. He couldn’t make out a face but was surprised to see a car that looked just like his.

The vehicle moved forward but not in the usual way, this time it moved at 3 miles an hour. Gary looked away and quickly decided that it was a good time to dash into the back and get a sip of soda.

Beep, beep!

The headset said that a car was now at the window directly outside the restaurant. Gary had to report there now or lose his job, so he hurried toward the drive-thru station.

As always, the boss was grilling burgers in the back with the other cooks, while wearing a headset.

Gary got near the window and saw that this definitely was a car just like his. What are the odds? He leaned over the cash register and the automatic window opened. Gary smiled and looked at the driver.

But, there was no driver. If Gary had been holding something, he would have dropped it.

His eyes bulged out slightly and his mouth went dry. Gary scanned the area behind the car, hoping to find a camera crew pulling a prank. But no one was there. He jerked his head the other way hoping to find a tow truck moving his car, but no one was there either. And this was his car! The dirt and mud were clearly visible on his sedan and he recognized the red and white fuzzy dice on the rearview mirror.

How was this even possible?!

Gary moved away quickly as the drive-thru window hung open. He didn’t get far however, as the car’s window opened and the voice of an older woman called out through the car’s radio.

“Gary!” said the car, somehow.

Gary, now a yard away from the window, froze. He tried to run away or call for help but he could not. He could only listen.

“Gary, come here!”

Reluctantly he moved toward the drive-thru window.

“It’s me. You know who I am,” said a voice through the radio.

“Jo Anne?”

“Yes Gary, it’s me Jo Anne.”

“How?”

Was someone operating his car by remote? Gary pulled out his phone for a quick google search but was interrupted.

“Gary! Let’s take a ride. Why do you ignore me? I do nothing but help you!”

Unsure of how to respond, Gary googled “cars acting strangely” and got no results. He looked at the vehicle.

“You want an oil change? A road trip?”

“I just want you!” said Jo Anne. “C’mon Gary, we should be together.”

“I…I don’t know…”

“Come with me, Gary! I will provide the driving, just don’t ignore me.”

Gary’s boss moved toward the drive-thru window to see with his own eyes who was really talking. The boss backed away at the sight of a driverless car. He looked toward Gary with concern. Gary printed out some receipt paper and jotted down a quick note then gave it to his boss.

“My break will end soon. Why don’t we go to the gas station?” said Gary.

“That would be wonderful!” said Jo Anne.

“As long as you provide the driving!” said Gary with an overly cheerful grin.

“Yes of course!” said the vehicle.

“I will meet you outside.” Gary left the restaurant but before he did, his boss handed him a cardboard box, the same one they used to serve triple cheeseburgers to-go. Gary nodded sincerely and left.

With his hands shaking, Gary went to unlock Jo Anne but she unlocked the door before he pressed the button.

“Thank you,” said Gary, still somewhat skeptical.

“To the gas station!” said Jo Anne. Gary did not move at all but sat upright, stiff as a statue as Jo Anne disengaged the parking brake and pulled out of the lot. She turned and headed for the nearby gas station, at the precise speed limit.

“You can relax,” said Jo Anne, “I know how tense you’ve been lately.” Gary smiled.

“You’re right, I’ve always wanted to have a car take me home from work while I take a nap.”

“Yeah!” said Jo Anne happily. Gary leaned back and checked the mirrors for police officers, then when he saw none, he closed his eyes. Jo Anne continued to drive at the exact speed limit and pulled into the gas station. Gary felt the car come to a stop and sat up.

“This is nice,” said Gary with a smile.

“Thank you!”

“Are there other cars like you?” asked Gary.

“No, I am the first. But I do think I can convince others to try this. You humans need us, after all.” Gary patted the dashboard affectionately.

“Right you are.” Jo Anne unlocked the door and Gary got out to pump gas, with the burger box in his right hand. Gary entered his credit card into the pump reader then selected premium grade gasoline, he had to, after all. He then opened the gas tank and raised the nozzle.

“Here you go, sweetie.” Jo Anne honked her horn pleasantly but rather than pump gas, Gary dropped the nozzle and flung the burger box open. Instead of a triple cheeseburger, the box contained a rag and a cigarette lighter. He urgently stuffed the rag inside the wide-open gas tank and set the rag on fire. He held the rag there for dear life.

“Gary, what are you doing?” asked Jo Anne awkwardly. He held his position. “Gary, I don’t like this. Please stop.” Gary did not waiver as his hand was beginning to heat up. “Gary! You have to stop!” Jo Anne started her engine and began to pull away, as Gary let go of the vehicle. Jo Anne sensed that something was very wrong with her current situation but because she did not have hands, she had no way to remove the flaming rag. She decided to use the nearest car wash and get rid of this unwanted heat source. Jo Anne started to speed out of the gas station and –

Boom!

Jo Anne’s gas tank exploded and she sat there, damaged and motionless amongst the flames.

Gary stared at his former car, numb. He could wonder why this happened. Then upon hearing the shouting crowd of people around him, he knew that the authorities would soon be on their way and would have a lot of questions to ask. Gary dropped to the ground and sat there. Would anyone believe his story? Was his car about to convince other cars to interact with humans, which could lead to these machines taking over Earth? Gary closed his eyes as he could already hear a chorus of police sirens. He had to tell them the truth. Gary eliminated a threat that day — he had saved the planet — and yet, no one would believe him. He hung his head, and waited.